It feels like a tear in my heart, like a part of me missing
by xoxoxblackcat
Summary: Growing up Bonnie and Stiles were very close. So of course when she dies she uses the last of her power to say goodbye to him. However Stiles isn't going to just sit around while she wanders the Earth as a ghost. ((I know horrible summary, but please read and review))
1. Chapter 1

Her knuckles tapped on the door of a familiar bedroom as she waited for it to open. This scene was all to familiar, it was the last night she spoke in person with the brown eyed boy who opened the door. Bonnie attempted to force a smile upon her lips, but quickly gave up the effort knowing how unconvincing it was and that she only had so much time before she was ripped from the dream. "I died.", she blurted out.

His eyes scanned her skeptically, "Bonnie you can't be. You're standing in front of me right now.

"I died the day before graduation.", she said her voice shaking.

Shock, pain and other emotions she couldn't place washed over his face. All things she hated seeing and immediately she regretted her decision to come and say goodbye to him. He didn't deserve this he had lost so many people in his life.

"No, no. You don't get to die. Death happens around you, not to you.", he nearly screamed at her.

Still she kept her composure hating herself for doing this. She has know him since the two were just entering grade school and somewhere along the lines she fell in love with him, but she kept that emotion from her words as she spoke, "You can't feel that way about me."

He stepped away from her when suddenly the scene she had created vanished in a flash. And instead she found herself in a high school hallway with no lights on. The only source of light was the moon shining through a room she saw the pale male walk through, though he looked different his hair wasn't shaved as it had been the last time. Now it was long and styled upwards. Quickly she followed after, feeling danger near by.

Entering to the room caused her stomach to twist and her instincts urge her to run, but she couldn't instead her eyes turned to him. He was reaching out for the tree stump and softly Bonnie said, "Don't touch it." He didn't react like he even heard her. So she repeated herself as he reach for it her volume increasing each time. Finally she screamed as loud as she could, "Don't touch it, Stiles!". He turned to her but it was too late roots and branches reached up capturing his arm and Bonnie was sent away from his subconscious.

A loud scream ripped through the whole house as Stiles sprung up in his bed. His whole body moving fanatically as his voice ripped his throat raw. Somewhere in the middle of his screams his father entered the room and had Stiles wrapped in his arms slowly calming him. Despite his screams stopping the tears did not.

Bonnie couldn't be dead, his father reassured him over and over. It was simply a dream. The girl he has known his whole life was safe in her home state. It was only a dream and he was awake now. Yet fear he felt and everything else about the dream felt so much more real than any other dream he had before.

Still he couldn't sleep after his father left him in the room. Even though it was the middle of the night he attempted to call Bonnie, but got voice mail. So he hung up and sent a text.

[Text From Stiles]: Hey call me when you get this

 **AN:**

 **So this is a short chapter I know. Anyway I will explain more about how Stiles and Bonnie know each other and how Bonnie died. All those things in the next chapter. So please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**An: Thank you** **joanna for letting me know the problem with chapter two, hopefully it's all better now!**

Bonnie's mother had left without a word over four months ago just before she turned seven currently she was sitting in the backseat as her eyes watched the unfamiliar town pass her by. After all she hadn't been there since her Uncle married a man named Shawn and she was a flower girl; she was only three.

"So my brother says you got all A's again.", her uncle said looking through his mirror at her and saw her shrug. His brother had said after his wife left the girl hadn't been the same, which made sense. So instead of sitting in an empty home all summer she was staying with him and his husband. "Listen Uncle Shawn is at home right now, but we have to stop by the station there for a little bit. Then you can get settled in."

"Okay.", she said simply not taking her eyes from the passing houses. It didn't matter to her what they did. She just wanted to be back in Mystic Falls with her friends and her Grams. She had even fought her father about coming out here, but he said he had work. When she offered to stay with her Grams he simply said no, but she couldn't help think it was because he didn't like the witchy stories she told.

They pulled into the police station and she followed her uncle inside. As he made his way to his desk she looked around her eyes taking in all the people walking around. Suddenly she saw a man walk over to her uncle greeting him.

"Hey Rick how are you?", he said with a smile.

"Hey John, I'm good. How's Stiles behaving now that summers starting?"

"Not bad. He is spending time with his mother right now.", he turned his eyes falling on the small girl standing there. "Wait is that Bonnie?" She looked at him confused by how he knew her name. "God I haven't seen you in years."

"Not since the wedding when Stiles was the ring bearer and she was the flower girl.", her uncle chimed in. "My brother is having her stay here for the summer. Maybe her and Stiles can get together one of these days."

"Of course. I'm sure he'll be happy to see you and you can meet his friend Scott.", he smiled.

"Thank you, that sounds nice.", she responded.

They left the station after her uncle handed in his time card to the chief. Once finished they made there way home and Bonnie settled into her room. She loved both of her uncles, she really did, but she couldn't help but cry herself to sleep that night. This wasn't her home, her friends weren't there and her Grams. Most of all she wanted to be home encase her mother came back.

"Stiles, Claudia I'm home.", John called as he slid his shoes off. Seeing his son run the comer caused a large smile to form on his lips as he held out his arms for him. Stiles jumped into his arms.

"Dad! How was work? What did you do? Mom and me made some cookies and Scott came over to hang out. We had a Nerf war, I won of course.", he said his words flying from his mouth a mile a minute.

Claudia walked over wrapped in a robe placing on the cheek of her husband and her son. "It was a very intense war. Stiles fought very bravely."

"That sounds amazing. I'm proud of you. Now where are the cookies?", he grinned putting his son down. As they entered the kitchen he began to eat one. "These are amazing. Hey you know who is back in Beacon Hills?", he paused as his wife shook her head. "Bonnie, Rick's niece."

"Who's that?", Stiles asked before drinking his milk.

His mother thought for a moment trying to remember herself, but she couldn't remember.

"Here.", he went going to the living room bringing back a picture of Stiles and a beautiful girl dressed in white sitting next to him placing a kiss on his cheek. Below that a picture of the two sitting eating cake. "This is Bonnie, she was the flower girl."

He then went on explain to his wife about what the girl was going through. Having her mother leave her with no warning. It broke her heart and later that evening she called Rick and his husband inviting her over for a play date, hoping to help the young girl adjust to the town.

A couple days later Bonnie was dropped off at the Stilinski house by her uncle before he went to work. She entered the house greeted by John before he left he introduced her to his wife and son.

Once he was gone Claudia tried very hard to take care of the children, have fun activities with them, but a huge wave of depression washed over her. She hoped to sleep it off so she left them to play.

It was awkward for them at first not sure how to truly interact seeing as they were nearly strangers. They began to talk about super heroes Stiles even showed her some of his many comics.

"So you really don't have any of your own?", he said turning to her. All day he hadn't seen the girl smile, he began to wonder if she even knew how.

"No. My friend Matt had one, but he dropped it in the rain when he raced Tyler.", she said shrugging. "Caroline thinks it's for boys and Elena gets annoyed with them because that's all her brother talks about."

Suddenly the phone rang and he sprung to his feet picking it up. He knew how important it was for his mom to get her full nap when she laid down. "Hello... The park? Sure my mom's fine with it... I'll ride my bike there... Oh I have my dad's coworker's niece, so let your mom know so she packs another sandwich... Alright see you soon. Bye Scott!" He hung up the phone turning to write a note encase his mother woke up.

"What are you doing?", Bonnie's eyebrow raised as she stood following him.

"We are going to the park. Scott's mom is making a picnic there.", in a fast movement he nearly dragged her out of his home and got her to balance on the back pegs of his bike as he peddled down the street. Luckily the park wasn't far from his house and Bonnie was short even for their age.

When they got there Bonnie's eyes fell on a mother and a son setting up stuff at a picnic table. Her stomach twisted as she saw the woman kiss the boys forehead. Jealousy flooded her body, a feeling she was by no means used to. Yet it was there all the same. Stiles had his mother, even if she was sleeping and this boy's mother looked at him as if he was the world. Tears almost fell from her eyes as she walked with Stiles closer, she made sure to blink them away.

They all greeted one another and they treated Bonnie nicely. As the day moved on Stiles even managed to get a smile out of Bonnie, which soon became an easier task as the summer went on. Most of her time was spent spending time with Stiles and Scott. It became comfortable for her, the whole summer began to fly by. Claudia's began to show sighs that something was wrong. Mood swings began to occur along with depression. Yet Stiles and Bonnie found ways to have fun around the house, trying different ways to help her. Not knowing what was beginning to start with her.

At the end of Summer, the young girl had to say goodbye to her uncle and new friends. It was bittersweet for Bonnie. She got to go home to her father and friends, but she was saying goodbye to other people she had began to care about.

Memories of the summer time were forgotten as Stiles went through a difficult school year. His mother was diagnosed with a disease and her conditions began to get worse. Some nights her mood swings became more violent and she even started to attack the young boy.

Finally the school year ended and his mother was kept in the hospital permanently. On the night of her death Stiles watched the life leave her body. When his father arrived he was taken over by grief, yet he still had to be the adult filling out paperwork so he called his best friend to take him so he wouldn't have to stay in the hospital.

Rick drove the boy to his home. When they arrived he opened the door walking over to the steps. There Bonnie stood smiling even so slightly seeing Stiles, it had been nearly a year since the two had seen each other. She had over heard the conversation her Uncle had on the phone which was why she stayed awake waiting for him.

"What are you doing up?", he Uncle asked.

"I was waiting for Stiles to come.", she said walking down to him.

"You should be asleep.", he said shaking his head. "Why don't you take Stiles to the guest room, he can sleep on the second bed."

"Okay.", she said holding out her hand for him. He looked so different than the last time she saw him. His eyes were red from crying and she could tell that his mother had truly past on.

His brown eyes looked from her hand to her face and he hesitated afraid. Of what he didn't know. Still he took a breath and put his hand in hers. Something washed over him, a feeling of comfort. It in no means made him feel better, but he felt somewhat better.

As they sat in darkness he cried. Bonnie at first just laid in her bed staring at the ceiling. She herself to sleep many nights, many of them in this room. So she stood and moved over to the bed crawling into it.

"I'm sorry she's gone.", she said hugging him. At first he simply laid still trying to hold in his tears, but she let him feel as though he didn't have to. He didn't have to be brave so he just cried and she hugged him till they fell asleep.

 **AN: So anyway thank you all for the reviews! They mean a lot to me. Here is the back story of them, more flashbacks will occur later. I will also have more about how Bonnie died coming up next. So until next time loves!**


	3. Chapter 3

"Are we talking about the same Bonnie you haven't seen since sophomore year?", Scott said as he walked up the steps of his high school.

"Yes."

"The Bonnie who you got into a huge fight with and who swore that she would never speak to you again?"

"I don't think she said never."

"She did. What did you two fight about?"

Stiles stayed quite remembering the fight. The supernatural world has hurt everyone he knows in some way or another; he didn't want that to happen to her. So he pushed her away with lies and hurtful words. Something he never thought he would do. Though she was also keeping secrets from him and lying as well. He always knew when she did. However in the end they had a big blowout and hadn't spoken since.

"It was a dumb fight.", Stiles shook his head his voice lowering as he spoke. "That doesn't matter the dream I had felt so real, like when the nogitsune was in my mind."

Scott remembered that time all too well. The pain everyone had went through and the death of Alison. Despite that the whole idea of her somehow coming to Stiles in a dream didn't sit well with him. "She hasn't called you back or texted you back right?"

"She hasn't. I even told her it was an emergency and nothing. I think I might have to drive up there."

"Stiles I don't think showing up on her door step all the way in Virginia is the best idea.", the alpha sighed, "Maybe we could ask Lydia or something. She might have a way to find out."

"I don't even think Lydia and Bonnie have spoken to each other before. Besides like you said she is across the country I don't think her banshee powers are going to be of much help.", Stiles said opening the door to their school walking towards their lockers.

"It's worth a shot, especially when compared to you leaving school at the beginning of senior year."

"I waited all summer just like you wanted and it's driving me insane I need to make sure she is okay."

The rest of the day went on the same. Stiles saying how he needed to see her and Scott reassuring him that she was fine. At lunch they spoke to Lydia and the rest of the group who all agreed Stiles was being paranoid that the girl didn't want to speak with him that was why she didn't return his messages.

Later that night Stiles was sitting at his table eating Chinese food while he waited for his dad to show up. When his dad finally did he saw that there was something wrong on his face and immediately his thoughts went to Bonnie. _She's dead, she is dead and her uncle told my dad._ So while he freaked out in his head he quickly asked his dad what was wrong.

The sheriff went on the explain that his coworker Rick had called out because his brother was dead. He kept going on about how he felt bad for the family and Rick was taking time off to help with the funeral arrangements. The only thing Stiles could think about was the pain Bonnie was going through. She had lost just about everyone she cared about.

Bonnie felt the pull of someone's thoughts and though her heart ached she allowed herself to go to them. Looking around she quickly realized it was Stiles once again being the one she was draw to. Sitting on his bed she watched him pacing back and forth with a phone to his ear.

"Hey Bon, no surprise that it's me calling for like the hundredth time.", he wore a sad smile on his lips for a moment before it vanished. "Listen I just heard about your Dad and I'm sorry. I really am, you of all people know that I went through losing a parent... I know you're probably still mad at me and I'm sorry, but you can still talk to me. So call me back, bye."

The ghost stood walking over wishing she could hug him, she needed it desperately in that moment, but her hand felt like nothing on his shoulder. So she instead wrapped her arms around herself and watched as Stiles called someone else.

"Scott... Her dad's dead and before you say anything I'm driving there for the funeral... I was there for her Grams, I need to. Then I can make sure she is alive and be there for her when she needs me...Scott... Fine, we will leave tomorrow.", and with that he hung up and fell back on his bed.

The ghost stood there staring at her childhood friend and she felt her heart ache. If she had known saying good bye to him would have caused him this much trouble she never would have done it. She had let her heart control her actions rather than her head. Of course Stiles wouldn't just let the dream go and he would investigate. Part of her had hoped the fight between the two was enough to keep from his usual tendencies, but it hadn't.

The doorbell rang though the house and imdetly Stiles rushed down to answer, Bonnie instead stayed on his bed till she saw him enter with a small girl, who she recognized as Lydia the girl he had been crushing on and the reason Bonnie never admitted her feelings for him.

As she watched Stiles close the door Bonnie felt it might be her time to go, that was till she felt Stiles pull on her once more.

"Stiles I don't see why I still had to come over here if you're just going to drive across country tomorrow."

He paced back and forth as the words came spilling from his lips, Lydia took that as I sign she might want to sit down. That was when she felt it, the feeling of death surrounded her and she felt as though something was caught in her throat.

Interrupting the tangent Stiles had went on she spoke he voice shaking, "I, Stiles I feel someone or something here. Here is this room. I-I've never felt anything like this before." The banshee was unsure how to feel about the sensation she was experiencing.

"Lydia was are you talking about?"

"It's like someone is sitting here with me. It not like how I feel before I find a dead body, but at the same time it's not too far off. I don't really know how to describe it."

Lydia wasn't the only one to feel something, Bonnie could too. For the first time since dying she felt Lydia energy like when she was alive, but how could that be. The ghost knew her Grams looked out for her, but she could never feel her. So how could Lydia.

Bonnie spoke, "Can you hear me?"

Stiles stood there unsure of what to do as Lydia spoke, "It making some kind of noise... I just... I don't understand any of it."

"Lydia, maybe we should go to Deaton. He might know what you're hearing and he can help.", he stood and walked with Lydia to his jeep after he made sure to tell his dad they were going to Scott's house.

Bonnie was unsure if she should follow after, but maybe she should. It may seem selfish to use Lydia as a tool for communication, but how often was the witch selfish. She deserved something every now and again too. The whole reason she had died was to bring Jeremy back for Elena. Even before her death time and time again she would sacrifice herself for others. So if this might help her in some way, why not try it and follow after them.

 **AN: I know long time no see, but just like a lot of people 2016 kick the crap out off me. Still I wanted to do one more update before the year is done.**  
 **Like always thank you for the reviews keep them coming. And I hope you all have a happy New Year!**


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